Survival for busy people
Do you wake up feeling exhausted? Are you starting to feel old and getting a lot of cramps and small issues? Are you a busy person? Well, so am I and we have to figure out a way to cope with it.
I have been asked a lot of times by people how to cram more into the day and how to be more efficient. There are plenty of good tips and tools about that — which all really just boil down to planning and prioritization. Last week I was asked a question that stopped me in my tracks: “How do I survive my busy bee life?”. I survived building a company from six to 180 with my five best friends, I survived pre-mature twins, and I survive an email-inbox-Niagra falls. Here’s how.
1. Go to bed-alarm
My number one problem is working late, and not getting enough sleep. You have a lot to do, emails and tweets coming in (and yes, a new awesome TV-series episode). We all have an alarm that wakes us up in the morning, now set a go to bed-alarm. I set mine at 11 pm and when it goes off I should go to bed. You can snooze, but just like in the morning: you snooze, you loose. Go to bed.
2. Never work and eat, but eat with others
It feels like saving time not taking breaks, but it doesn’t. My rule is that I eat with my family. Breakfast and dinner. No computers or phones while eating. Just eat, talk, relax. If you live alone, try to eat with others. Invite someone over or try having a Skype dinner once a week. Avoid eating alone, and especially avoid eating in front of a screen alone. And I try to let lunch break be lunch break, even if I do have working lunches too.
3. Don’t fight battles in the evening
What really killed me in the evenings was heated email or phone discussions. When my first company reached hundred people, I spent every third evening arguing with someone in the management team. In one way arguing is good — taking the company forward — but still having different (strong) opinions on options, risks, paths. This ruined both the evening, but most of all the night’s sleep.
At the same time the discussion is important. Two tips: You don’t have to have the last say or show that you are awake working on this the longest. You really don’t. And if you don’t have a constructive discussion — you can tell — just say: “Let’s sleep on this and talk more tomorrow. Now I still disagree, but after a night’s sleep I’ll probably just laugh at this and realise we are saying the same thing.”.
4. Remember you are mortal and be grateful
When I was really, really stressed at my first company and worked 80 hours a week, I got a cold shower. Not as in an ice-bucket challenge but that a friend passed away. A friend my own age. After that I started thinking about death a lot more (almost as much as in my teenage days) and walking cemeteries more.
Realise that whatever you are doing is less important. Your parents, close friends, children might die tomorrow. I started thinking of what was important to me and which things I was happy and grateful for. Do a list every Friday and every New Years Day — what made you most happy this week and year.
5. Wind down, say no, exercise, meditate, listen to music, be present, skip TV…
All the master tips — few I mastered. Before you go to bed don’t use a screen, read a book and wind down. Make sure to have at least one non-colleague social activity per week. And exercise at least twice a week. (The best way is to have some peer pressure and jog and share with a peer, play squash, or go to the gym together.) Skipping watching random things on TV goes without saying. Mediation is of course the best, but one of the hardest things to master and take time to. If you can this is the silver bullet. And of course prioritizing and saying no to things that sound fun but aren’t really important (I never learned this).
Life gets in the way
With children and old parents you no longer own you time. You can’t shower alone and do relax your mind. You have a lot less time and more chores. Don’t swim against the current. Instead, accept and use your children as your guides. It gets easier not to have a computer or phone at dinner when eating with them. It gets easier to play and laugh when playing Legos or drawing together. Let them be your harmony control.
